Survivor Spotlight

Christy’s Story

My name is Christy, and I am more than a survivor of domestic violence.

It has taken me 40 years to feel confident and strong enough to share my story publicly. I’m doing so now because there has to be a change.

When I was 8 years old, my mother brought home a stranger—a man she had married, whom I had never met before and I wished I never had. My stepfather beat and raped me from the time I was around 10 years old until he fled the country about five years later to avoid prosecution charges of child sexual abuse and rape.

I had never told.

He would always threaten that if I did, he’d leave my family and we’d end up homeless on the streets.  

Eventually, I trusted a school staff member who was kind to me, and it was then that I finally told , it was then that action was finally taken.

It seems strange to me but at the time what made the bigger impact on me was why my mother’s anger was directed at me—and not at him. I never did get an answer to that “why.”

Fast forward to my early 20s: I met and married a man whom I thought loved me as much as I loved him. Someone who would protect me from harm and keep me safe. 

I thought wrong.

The first time he hurt me, he slammed my head into a pile of weights at the end of a barbell—for asking what he wanted for dinner. I still have the lump he left to this day.  

He said he was sorry, and I really did believe him.  Until he split my face open while on a trip to Mexico. Shocked and numb I called and asked my mother to come pick me up at the border. When she arrived, she told me that what I needed to do, was to be a better wife. She said I couldn’t stay with her, but she could drop me off somewhere.

I made a few calls and found a local DV Organization that said they would help but back then it was different, Back then I was given one night in a very scary motel, one $20 voucher to a grocery store i couldn't even get to and an all day bus pass for the next day. Although I was grateful, it wasn’t enough.

I had no one to call, nowhere to go, no where to turn and no other choice but to return back to him. Twenty-six broken bones, countless stiches, and a baby later, my husband beat me for the last time. Finally, the police had come and taken him to jail after a neighbor—worried about my safety—called for help.

I had my chance.

I was bruised and battered but I took it. The following morning, I borrowed a car (because I wasn’t allowed to have one) and dropped my then 3-year-old little boy off at daycare for a few hours while I raced around to make arrangements for our safe escape.  After everything was set, I rushed to pick up my precious child.

But I wasn’t fast enough.

My husband had been released without any warning or notice to me, and was somehow able to get my son from daycare and leave the States to the country of his birth in a matter of hours—because no questions were asked. Since both of us (being the biological parents) had custody, there was nothing I nor anyone else could do to bring my son, back home to me.  

That was almost 40 years ago, and I have never seen my son again.

My devastation and despair led me to drugs, and it wasn’t long after that I had found myself being trafficked into the sex industry by yet another abuser. Needless to say, my life had become a very long etcetera, etcetera...

However I am NOT that little girl anymore.

Today, I stand strong and confident—determined to turn the negatives around and make them count for something in the most positive of ways. 

I speak out now to combat domestic violence, to take a stand for the countless others who have suffered, and to be a voice for those whose voices have been silenced forever.

Being a volunteer for Hope & Safety I see all the support they offer this community and I wonder how differently things could have turned out for me and my son if they were around back then where i was.

Today because of Hope & Safety Alliance I have my power back and I intend to use it.

We all need to come together as one—because together we are powerful, and together we WILL move mountains.  

To change laws.  

To provide real “hand-up” solutions.  

To offer safe choices.

We need to be HOPE.

Hope for those who are not safe.  

Hope for those suffering in silence.  

Hope for those who feel hopeless. 

The injuries I received from abuse—I still suffer from. I have undergone multiple corrective surgeries, with more planned for the future. But I don’t hate.  

To me, it serves as a reminder that every single one of us—no matter the reason—deserves to live a life free of abuse.

If you or someone you know needs help, call our 24-hour crisis and support line today 541-485-6513